Faith Tong (Week 2)- self esteem go boom

 Self Esteem Go Boom

by Faith Tong

    Do you guys every have those types of friends that just take jokes a bit too far? Sometimes I start to question whether they are joking or it's more of a personal attack. Anyways, I have noticed the differences between the friends who make the jokes versus the friends who take in the joke. I will be sharing my very important (emphasis on important) observations that lead to my conclusion of correlation between self esteem and jokes. 

    In this observation, I was mainly the bystander, kind of like Nick Caraway (just had to use a Great Gatsby reference). I first began to observe the two friends' characteristics and habits. I noticed how (let's called them Friend 1) Friend 1 loves to crack jokes all the time and laugh everything off. They did not care what others had to say about them and displayed self confidence. On the other hand, (let's call them Friend 2) Friend 2 was the one who was the one receiving the jokes and did not radiate the same humor as Friend 1. They were, characteristic-wise, more sensitive to what others had to say about them. 

    I noticed how their interactions were a rerun every single time. Friend 1 would make a joke, haha so funny, and then Friend 2 would awkwardly laugh it off or say some defensive things in hopes Friend 1 would stop making jokes. Unsurprisingly, Friend 1's capacity to understand Friend 2 emotionally was limited. 

    So how does this relate to self-esteem? Friend 1’s words are actually very powerful and impacted Friend 2 in a negative way. Their jokes made Friend 2’s self-esteem go down unintentionally. Just like Friend 1, our words can hurt other people’s self-esteem. Maybe it was just a joke about their appearance or their insecurities but it can heavily affect someone more than you know. And that’s what I learned from my very important observations! 

    For me, I pay attention to people’s reactions and moods when I joke around. Around some friends that I know are comfortable and okay with jokes, I know that I won’t hurt them. But around the friends that are more sensitive and prone to take everything into offense, I am more cautious about the jokes I make and try to make them feel better. How do you guys cope with friends that are more or less sensitive? 

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